I hope you are all well and enjoyed Guy Fawkes Night last week or, if you aren’t a firework fan, didn’t have too terrible a weekend.
Guy Fawkes Night is extra special for me because it is my birthday and this year, 2016, I reached the grand old age of 29.
I know that for a lot of people 29 is an age of fear, for the dreaded 30 is the next birthday on the horizon, but for me I feel and felt nothing but contentment and happiness.
A few years ago, failure was a constant fear of mine, always lurking over my shoulder. Ready to point the finger and laugh when I wasn’t “as successful” as my peers and friends. Age has always been a factor in that for me, I went to college later than usual and I went to university later than usual and I felt like I was always playing catch up. With that in mind, you would think that getting a year older would impact on my happiness but far from it.
A few years ago, I suffered terribly from depression and low self esteem and the one thing I have gained as I have got older, is respect and love for myself. I accept who I am now and that she is not a bad person. She might have flaws but that’s ok. She might be overweight but that’s ok. She might not always be happy and gracious but that’s ok. Accepting myself for who I am has been a huge accomplishment for me and with that my fear of failure and my compulsion to compare myself to others has started to fall by the wayside.
I have to give a lot of thanks to my friends and husband for helping me do this. They are magical people who are accepting and giving and glorious and this shone through with my birthday celebrations this year. I didn’t want to do anything over the top, I just wanted to watch fireworks and eat nice food. My nearest and dearest stood in the cold with me, risking frostbite, just because that’s what I wanted to do and I cannot thank them enough for loving me so much they were willing to do this.
29 isn’t scary. Not at all. If anything, I’m excited. My younger years were tumultuous and sometimes difficult and as I’ve got older things have got better. I just hope things keep going in the same direction.
So my real message is, growing older isn’t something to be afraid of. Just because you haven’t seen or done everything you want to do before you reach a certain age doesn’t matter. Just because your friends might be at a different stage of their lives to you it doesn’t matter. Comparison is the thief of joy. How do we measure success? In pounds and pence? Square footage? I think we should start to measure it in happiness. In decibels of laughter. The number of smiles. In love.
Thank you for taking the time to read this slightly sappy meander into my mind.
Stay Safe and Wonderful
Lexy (aged almost 30)