February! A shorter month than most but this year had the extra leap day – reminding me that the Olympics starts this summer. I am not a huge sports fan but I do often get quite into the Olympics, since it was in the UK in 2012 (how is it 12 years ago?).
Despite being shorter in length, February has seen the days getting longer, it’s no longer dark by 4pm, and the odd hint of spring on the air.
As for me, my February has been a mixed bag. I am still looking for work which is mentally quite draining and the rejections is becoming a bit disheartening, as are my experiences with the Job Centre here. Off the back of being unemployed it means that money remains tight. It’s true what they say; you either have the time to do things you enjoy or the money and never both.
That said, I did go to London with friends to see Cirque Du Soleil. If you ever get the chance to see it, I highly recommend you do. It is an incredible spectacle even if some bits are a little bit sweaty palm inducing (incredibly high trapeze artists I am looking at you here). The staging is always magnificent and it always leaves me wondering how people learnt they could do these incredible stunts.
Aside from that there is little to report this month; my yearly medical review was positive and I am not rapidly stepping forward to my grave.
I’m hoping that with the weather improving into March and the longer days, I will have more to report, and I am spending a long weekend with a friend which I am very excited about. At least I’ll have some more photos!
You might be wondering what happened to the weekly blog (I am looking at you my solitary reader!). I thought that for this year, I would do a monthly blog. Longer blogs but less often. I felt like it fitted better with me, less pressure to do a weekly round-up, and gives me a bit more freedom to do blogs on other things without feeling like I am putting too much out into the world.
I intended to break the monthly blogs into weekly segments but I didn’t want to, again, put that kind of pressure onto myself, and thought I would be my true, tangent loving, chaotic self.
I think, like many, I had high hopes for 2024. Both 2022 and 2023 were difficult for me to say the least. 2023 ended with me leaving a job I loved with colleagues I loved to take up a new post that was short lived.
So I wanted to see 2024 in with positivity; and I did. I saw it in with my parents and a glass or two of wine. It felt like it might be a good start.
Due to the job situation, I decided I needed some financial help. So I went through the process of claiming benefits. Whilst I don’t enjoy being in this position, I know there is nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to lots of people. But the process has been painful, degrading, long and stressful. And, as of writing this on the 1st of February, I haven’t seen any money and I am depending on the Bank of Mum and Vinted to keep me afloat. I have reached my tolerance for the stress caused by DWP and have reached breaking point a couple of times. Crying on my mum’s shoulder until I ran out of tears. Thank God for my mum.
To add to my dwindling capacity, two of my piercings fell out. And of course they are the most difficult ones to get back in. An emergency trip to Canterbury, made possible by an angel of a friend giving me a lift (because of course the trains were on strike) and they are all fixed up again. Also, big shout out to the guys in Costa (where I sat on my laptop trying to look busy and important) who really made my day.
Whilst January does seem to have gone on for a hundred years and has been literally a very gloomy month, it has not all been doom and gloom here in Tea Lex Land. I went to London to see one of my closest friends (one of my bridesmaids when I got married) and we mooched around the National Portrait Gallery and had a delicious tea and cake too. We discussed neurodiversity at length; her child and husband are both neurodivergent, she is neurodivergent and I believe myself to be neurodivergent too.
Following this discussion, I discovered Unmasker by Ellie Middleton and listened to the audiobook in pretty much one sitting. I have never felt so seen and validated and understood in my experience of life. I wept at one point. If you think you might be neurodivergent I cannot recommend this book enough (and the community online). If you aren’t neurodivergent I still recommend it, to have some insight and understanding into those around who may be different. Different, not less.
I mentioned crying on my mum’s shoulder a lot this month but we have also cried with laughter a few nights after watching The Traitors. I am not a reality TV show person normally but I do love the party game Werewolf (my best friend, myself and others used to play Werewolf online back in the days of MSN Messenger). My aforementioned besty and I watched series 1 together (after it was broadcast) and I was hooked. I’ve been looking forward to this series for ages and I managed to convince my mum to watch with me, and I have now got her fully hooked too.
January was a gloomy month, but February seems brighter already. The weather. My Mood. Life.
So, I fell off the blogging train a while back. I blame a lot of changes and… stuff.
But before I start (trying) to blog once a week in 2024, I thought I would review 2023, sort of Bridget Jones’ style.
Piercings Gained: 7
I started 2023 not really feeling myself and decided one thing I was missing was getting piercings more regularly. So in February I went and got my high nostrils done, and ever since I have been obsessed with them.
My High nostrils with little ball jewellery back in the summer of 2023.
I also progressed my ear piercing project (in fact I think I am finished now just need to change up some jewellery) with the help of the amazing Chanelle at Drawn & Quartered.
My left ear – my jewellery has since changed but I don’t have an up to date photo yet!My right ear with the Spirah (heart web) attachment from Qualiti Jewellery that I was gifted before it was officially released!
And I ended the year by getting my eyebrow re pierced. I’ve had my eyebrows done a few times, neither have lasted well (poorly pierced and helped on its way by a hairdresser’s comb) and I decided to go for it again. Just before 2023 ended I got the jewellery downsized and I love it so much! Here’s hoping it lasts a few years.
My properly fitted eyebrow piercing with aurora borealis coloured attachments (not that you can see that!)
Hair Colours Had: 4
I’ve always enjoyed changing my hair colour up and 2023 was no exception. I started the year by going neon orange and yellow which then progressed into richer copper tones including some berry. And then when the year was coming to a close, I decided that the upkeep of vibrant colours was too much and I returned to blonde. Do blondes have more fun? Let’s hope 2024 will tell!
Neon orange – from a dark brown this was quite an amazing change!Richer colours with a Hayley Williams VibeShort berry tones – I did not really like this cut!Blonde – Preparing to have more fun in 2024!
Tattoos Gained: 4
This year I got 4 completely new tattoos. I returned to Amia at Beloved Light Tattoo as I absolutely love her style and I couldn’t imagine getting tattooed by anyone else. Apart from by her apprentice Ellie who added a little tattoo behind my right ear. 2023 saw Ellie complete her apprenticeship too and it has been a pleasure to see her grow on her journey!
My Tattoo by Ellie behind my right earMy beautiful carousel horse on my lower back by AmiaMy dagger with flowers on my left calf by AmiaJane Doe on my upper back by Amia. I had this idea in my mind and Amia bought it perfectly to life
Jobs Ended: 2
Definitely not the highlight of my year is leaving 2 jobs. Without going into too many details, I was very sad to leave the first job, I loved the work and the team but unfortunately funding was an issue. The second job I had to leave to save my mental health. Here’s hoping that a good role comes along in 2024!
Masters Degrees Gained: 1
It was a tough and challenging ride to get to the point where I can say I have a masters degree and this time I actually went to my graduation. My best friends watched via a YouTube link and one of them cried. It still doesn’t feel real that I am an MSc!
House Moves: 1
With my role coming to an end it meant my time in my flat also came to an end. It’s bittersweet moving back home with my parents. There is obviously the change from being completely independent to living with people again but I have less to worry about in terms of bills and being able to do what I want to my space. I am very happy with my space now, I have made it my own and it feels like a wonderful sanctuary.
My little, cosy sanctuary
New Video Game Addictions: 1
I am obsessed with Disney Dreamlight Valley. I downloaded it as it was on Xbox Game Pass and thought it might pass an afternoon in a chilled and cosy manner. I’ve now been playing it for weeks and have amassed over 3 days worth of playing time. And I have no intention of stopping!
Overall, a year of highs, lows, changes and good friends.
What am I hoping for for 2024? More time with my friends and money to be able to afford it!
Oh… and more time on Dreamlight Valley, of course.
They say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do, and I think they are right. Whoever “they” are.
I’ve lived in my little flat for 18 months now and before I moved out, I shed a lot of stuff. I left stuff behind, chucked stuff out, got rid of the dead weight. But I am packing up and moving again and somehow I seem to have reaccumlated loads of stuff! Again, I’m trying to sell, chuck or donate but there seems to be so much. I’m also not moving until October and it feels difficult to know what I can pack up that I won’t need between now and then.
I also seem to move a lot, the one before I moved into my flat was sudden following my split from my ex, so I didn’t feel like I ever had time to plan and prep my room at my parents house. This time, I feel ready. My mum and I have started painting it and I’ve started accumulating more pretty, decorative things.
It’s a complicated feeling, this move. I don’t want to be with my parents forever, although with the cost of living going the way it is, there may never be an option for me to move out again, but I also don’t really want to move again. I have got removal people, which is a change from the first few times I moved on my own, I was always doing it with the help of friends, partners and rental vans!
Not long until I can rest in my updated sanctuary and I really am ready for a rest.
I am coming clean about how I feel; at the moment I am feeling a mixture of things. I am a mix of excited and feeling like I have failed.
In February 2022 I started a training course and I moved out on my own. Now, 18 months later, I am about to reach the end of the course (which hopefully I will pass) and I am moving home. The experience has not been good, the cost of living crisis adding more pressure, and suspected undiagnosed or supported ADHD has meant it is time for me to go home to my parents.
I’m 36 this year and it feels like I’ve not really achieved anything, moving back home, divorced, no career but I know I am measuring myself against a strange societal yardstick. But, in equal or maybe greater measure, I am excited. Moving home means I can decorate. Hammer nails into the wall for art. Save money on rent and actually be able to see my friends again.
I hadn’t realised how burnt out and tired I’ve been, pretty much since working through COVID in 2020-21. And I found myself lacking in enjoyment so stopped blogging. But, hopefully, with all the change that’s coming, I will be blogging more. I want to get back into photography and maybe videoing more of what I am up to.
So, before I go into the details of my weekend fall I just have a few words to share about Eurovision. The most important* date in my calendar.
I really enjoyed this year’s contest although I did think maybe we got a bit carried away with hosting and I felt the spirit of Ukraine might have been a little lost. That said, Hannah Waddingham was glorious and it was lovely to see National Treasure Graham Norton able to be fully involved. I wasn’t too convinced about the winner (and don’t get me wrong, I love Euphoria!) and personally I wanted Norway to win.
Then we move forward to this weekend. I want to step out of my comfort zone and start doing little videos for YouTube. I did one once a long while back (when I was with my ex-husband) and thought I might film a day trip to the seaside.
I was, however, thwarted by an uneven pavement. I made myself look pretty. I left the house. Crossed the road. And down I went. My left ankle bending like rubber and my whole body going crashing to the floor, witnessed by two police officers in their car. They stopped, causing a build up of traffic behind them, to check I was alright and find out if I needed taking anywhere. You know what they say about reaching an age when people are concerned when you fall…
I hobbled home and made it back up two flights of stairs and didn’t feel too bad, and considered trying again.
Once the adrenaline wore off, it was clear I should and would not be trying again, so I spent the rest of the day, Dear Reader, watching Queen Charlotte and then playing some Sea of Thieves with some friends.
There was no improvement over night, in fact the swelling was worse and the bruising was really coming out so I decided it was a good idea to go to the minor injuries unit just to be checked out.
It was really quick! I don’t think I was out in total for more than 2 hours.
It’s a bad sprain and I’ve got a sheet about how to look after it. I’m not sure how to tell work that I am not as mobile as I was last week.
It’s been a while again. It feels like a good time to talk about all the madness that’s been happening.
I’ll go back in time a bit (only a week to be fair!) but I got a new piercing. Adding to my ear project that I’m planning on finishing in the next few months.
I also had a really good night out with a friend; an alternative club night involving Paramore, too much alcohol and a surprisingly hangover free day the following day.
Following the night out, I got my hair done again. I’m really enjoying having brighter hair and living my Hayley Williams fantasy life.
So then we move to this week. I’m at my parents’ for the Coronation and Eurovision, both involving lots of people getting together to wave union flags. I’m also here to eat lots of party food, which my mum does so well for these kind of things.
The sad truth at the moment is, I don’t know what or where my future lies. I may not be able to keep my job long term so I may end up back at home, job seeking again. I’m feeling a little sad about it, a little lost, trying to find a direction.
Life eh? What a funny thing it can be sometimes. And time, sometimes I just don’t know where it goes. March is already almost at an end.
I’m trying to think what’s been happening the last few weeks leading up to this and, honestly, it’s a blur. Work, uni, everything.
However, the last week, I can remember. I got two new tattoos which I am obsessed with – one is completely new and one is a retouch and the addition of the cutest little bumble bee. I love going to Beloved Light Tattoo, the vibe is wonderful and the art is spectacular. But I do have to stop myself getting everything tattooed on me immediately.
My best friend visited me and also got some work done by Ellie at Beloved Light which is stunning.
We had a wonderful time together. We ate too much wonderful food, had a couple of drinks and did some amazing day drips – despite the wet, gloomy weather.
We checked out Folkestone and saw Jessica Hynes (Daisy from our beloved Spaced) and enjoyed some gorgeous independent shops. I really enjoyed the Creative Quarter, it’s just a shame that a lot of things were shut, both down to the day of the week we went (Tuesday) and being very much off season.
We went to Margate as well and, much like Folkestone, a lot of the shops and lovely things own in the Old Town were closed but we did find an adorable independent bookshop that I am fully in love with now.
My besty went home today, and it doesn’t feel the same here without her. I miss her terribly and can’t wait to see her again soon and hopefully find some places that are open!
The last couple of weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind.
My work has really ramped up, uni assignments, and general life stuff. Late last year, I probably would have felt broken and unable to cope.
This year, I am sticking to my plan for making 2023 about friends, relationships and being happy. As important as work is, there is more to life.
So last weekend, I went out for brunch with my old boss who is now a dear friend. We went to a lovely cafe right on the Seafront where she lives and the food was gorgeous. It was a bit nippy – that sea breeze had a chill to it! I’m hoping to go again when the weather is even nicer.
Then that eveningI got home, did a quick Day-to-Night change and went out for drinks with local friends. It feels really nice to have people locally to spend time with and form relationships with. My best friends are mostly miles away so it takes us some planning and organisation to get together. That sad, one of my best friends will be visiting in 2 weeks and I cannot wait!
This weekly update is, obviously, later than usual but for good reason. I’ve been away.
As I mentioned before, my “Promised Land” involves seeing more of my friends so that’s what I did. I went down to the Isle of Wight to hang out with my best friend, the other side of my coin, whom I haven’t seen in far too long.
We watched a movie (I have finally seen the last Star Wars film), played a good variety of board games and got hooked on and finished The Traitors (I know we were both delayed).
It was a lovely break but I forgot how exhausting travelling down there is!
There’s not much more of an update than this but I did manage to take some lovely photos.
Tea Lex 